Matt Feret

Today we're talking about a financial topic that impacts almost every family.

That includes kids, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, second cousins, and even long-lost relatives.

And that topic is how to pay for college without blowing up your retirement plans.

My guest today is Brian Eyster.

Brian has spent more than 26 years helping families navigate exactly this challenge. He's the founder of the GRAD Process—G-R-A-D—a system designed to help parents fund college without sacrificing their long-term financial security.

Brian is a Certified College Funding Specialist, a speaker, and a financial strategist. He combines professional expertise with personal experience because he's walked this road himself, planning for his own children's education—just like I have.

Today we're going to unpack:

• Why traditional college savings strategies often quietly sabotage families
• How tools like home equity and cash flow can be used more efficiently
• How business owners, whether large, small, or side-hustle entrepreneurs, can turn college funding into a smarter tax and planning strategy

Brian, welcome to the show.

Brian Eyster

Thanks for having me, Matt.

I'm really looking forward to this conversation. I think it's going to be a fun one.

Matt Feret

Let's start with your background.

In your own words, tell everyone what you do, how long you've been doing it, and what led you to specialize in helping families plan for college and retirement at the same time.

Brian Eyster

That's a great question.

I've been in financial services—financial advising, whatever label you want to use—since I graduated from college in 1998. That puts me right around my 27-year anniversary in this business.

I've always loved what I do because I enjoy problem-solving.

What I started noticing, especially in the mid-to-late 2010s, was a trend among my clients. Many of them were my age or slightly older, and their children were beginning to approach college age.

If I'd been working with those families for several years, things were usually in good shape. It became a matter of sitting down, reviewing what we'd done, why we'd done it, and when we'd done it. That conversation generally put them at ease.

What really caught my attention, though, was what I started hearing outside of my client base.

As my kids got older and became involved in sports, I spent more time standing around ball fields talking with other parents.

And the number-one source of panic I heard was:

"What in the world am I going to do about paying for college?"

The range of responses was fascinating.

Some families would say:

"We've got it covered. We planned early."

Others were relying on affluent grandparents.

Some parents would say:

"I didn't get a penny from my parents, so my kids aren't getting a penny from me."

These were all people I knew, liked, and respected.

But their approaches were completely different.

Standing behind the right-field fence listening to those conversations really made me stop and think.

One day, I was talking with a close friend I've coached with for years.

We were having the same kind of strategic discussion we'd have when preparing to play another baseball or softball team.

We'd talk about:

• Who likes to bunt
• Who steals bases
• How the catcher throws to second
• Whether the shortstop cuts in front of the bag

All those little details that influence outcomes.

And suddenly it hit me.

I was doing the exact same thing mentally with college planning.

Parents simply don't know what they don't know.

They don't know:

• The rules
• The timelines
• The hidden strategies
• The downstream consequences

My friend looked at me and said:

"You really need to focus on this."

That conversation ultimately became the foundation for what would become the GRAD Process back in 2019.

Fast-forward to today, and everything is fully launched.

I currently have one child in college, roughly at junior status, and another who is a high school senior.

So I'm not sitting in an ivory tower speaking theoretically about what parents should do.

I'm living it.

In fact, just last night I was up until nearly midnight writing a financial-aid appeal letter for my oldest daughter.

There were some unique circumstances, and we decided it was worth stepping into the batter's box and taking a swing.

If you never swing the bat, you'll never know the outcome.

Fortunately, we've had success with financial-aid appeals already this year.

As more parents started coming to me asking:

• "What should we do?"
• "Is this a good idea?"
• "What happens if we do this?"

I found myself giving two types of answers.

Sometimes the answer was:

"That's great."

Other times it was:

"You're probably not going to like what that looks like 15 or 20 years from now."

That's where this work really lives.

The GRAD Process exists to help families organize their situation logically.

We start with simple questions:

• What have you already done?
• Where are you today?
• What are you considering doing next?

Then we determine whether you actually have the information necessary to make an educated decision—or whether you're simply hoping things work out.

We also stress-test decisions.

What happens if:

• Income changes?
• The market changes?
• College plans change?
• Life changes?

Most importantly, we look for places where families are unknowingly leaking money and identify opportunities to recapture it.

Matt Feret

You mentioned something important.

This is a process, not just a product.

Why does that distinction matter?

Brian Eyster

Because traditional college planning often skips directly to products.

It skips the thinking.

The GRAD Process begins with where you are right now.

That's what the "G" stands for—Getting Grounded.

We gather information first, without judgment.

Parents come to us at all different stages.

Some have high school seniors.

Some have juniors.

Others have younger children.

And timing matters enormously.

For families with high school seniors, many of the tax-planning decisions that could have made a meaningful difference should have happened during junior year.

That window may already be closed.

But that doesn't mean there are no options.

At that point, the focus shifts toward assets:

• How assets are positioned
• How they're counted
• How they affect financial-aid calculations

Here's something I want every parent of a high school senior to hear clearly:

If you filed the FAFSA and nobody reviewed it, that's the equivalent of writing your college dissertation and submitting it without editing.

Parents aren't taught this.

Nobody sits us down in school and explains FAFSA rules.

Most families simply receive an email that says:

"Click here and complete this federal form."

The information entered may not be incorrect.

But it may be incomplete.

And a lack of nuance can cost families real money.

College planning is not like cramming for a midterm exam the night before.

You can't pull an all-nighter and expect the best outcome.

Ideally, families should begin thinking seriously about this process during junior year of high school.

Seniors still have options.

But there are fewer of them.

Another misconception is that FAFSA only needs to be completed once.

That's not true.

FAFSA must be completed every year.

That misunderstanding alone creates significant problems for many families.

Matt Feret

Let's stay on FAFSA for a moment.

People listening are in all different stages.

Some have kids in middle school.

Some have juniors or seniors.

Some already have children in college.

Others are helping grandchildren pay tuition.

You said earlier that filing the FAFSA without review is like submitting a dissertation without editing.

That's a strong statement.

Walk us through FAFSA from the beginning.

Who should complete it, when should they do it, and how should families think about it?

Brian Eyster

That takes us right back to the "G" in the GRAD Process—Getting Grounded.

FAFSA stands for the Free Application for Federal Student Aid.

Matt Feret:

Let's stay on FAFSA for a moment because people listening are in all different stages. Some have kids in middle school, some have juniors and seniors, and some already have kids in college. Others are helping with tuition right now.

You said something earlier that really stood out: filing the FAFSA without review is like submitting a dissertation without edits. That's a strong statement.

Walk us through FAFSA from the top. Who should fill it out, when should they fill it out, and how should parents really be thinking about it?

Brian Eyster:

That falls directly under the "G" in the GRAD Process: getting grounded in where you are right now.

FAFSA stands for the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. It's the federal form used primarily by public universities. There's also a separate form called the CSS Profile that's used by a select group of private schools.

The FAFSA itself isn't inherently bad. The issue is how casually many families approach it.

The FAFSA typically contains around 50 to 70 questions, depending on your situation. It's relatively straightforward.

The CSS Profile, on the other hand, is much more invasive. It's used by roughly 200 private institutions. Those schools aren't distributing federal money; they're distributing their own institutional funds and endowment dollars. Because of that, they want much more information about your financial life.

The CSS Profile digs into areas the FAFSA doesn't address. It's longer, more detailed, and often more subjective.

Most families have no idea that distinction exists until they're already deep into the process.

One of the most common questions I hear is:

"My income is too high. Should I even bother filling out the FAFSA?"

In most cases, the answer is yes.

The first thing we need to define is what kind of aid we're talking about.

There is need-based aid, which looks at income and assets.

Then there's merit-based aid, which is based on the student: grades, test scores, academic achievement, and institutional fit.

Many universities require a completed FAFSA even if a student is only seeking merit-based scholarships.

So families who skip the FAFSA because they assume they won't qualify may unintentionally close the door on opportunities.

When people hear the phrase "financial aid," they often assume it means grants or free money.

But financial aid can include:

• Grants
  • Scholarships
  • Subsidized student loans
  • Institutional discounts
  • Merit-based awards

Even families with higher incomes may qualify for some of these opportunities, particularly merit-based awards.

That's why FAFSA isn't simply about income. It's also about positioning.

Another major misconception is that FAFSA only needs to be filed once.

It must be filed every year.

And this is where things become risky.

Let's say a family decides not to file FAFSA during freshman year because they're doing well financially and plan to cash-flow college expenses.

Then life happens.

Maybe there's a job loss, a business downturn, a health issue, or an economic event similar to COVID.

Now their student is entering sophomore year and the family suddenly needs assistance.

Some universities may respond by saying:

"You didn't file FAFSA during freshman year. You indicated that you didn't need aid. Unfortunately, you're not eligible now."

Not every school handles it that way, but enough do that it's a serious concern.

COVID was a perfect example.

I worked with many small-business owners who were thriving one month and completely shut down a few months later.

Imagine a family that skipped FAFSA because they felt financially secure. Then COVID hits and their income disappears.

Without a FAFSA on file, many schools simply said no.

Filing FAFSA keeps the door open.

Matt Feret:

Let's talk about how FAFSA actually evaluates income and assets because this is where things become confusing.

Brian Eyster:

Absolutely.

FAFSA is weighted heavily toward income, but assets still matter.

Parent-owned assets are generally assessed at a maximum rate of about 5.6%. Depending on circumstances, the number may be slightly lower, but that's the general upper limit.

Income remains the bigger driver, but asset positioning can still significantly impact outcomes.

That's why timing matters so much.

Junior year of high school is often the critical planning window.

That's the year when certain tax decisions, asset movements, and planning strategies can still influence future FAFSA calculations.

Once a student reaches senior year, income is largely locked in because FAFSA is looking back at prior tax returns.

At that point, planning becomes more focused on asset positioning than income planning.

Seniors still have options. They simply have fewer options.

Matt Feret:

Let me ask a broader question.

In programs like Social Security, Medicare, and IRMAA, we often see thresholds that don't always keep pace with inflation.

Has FAFSA evolved in a similar way? Are more families getting squeezed over time?

Brian Eyster:

That's a great question, and it's more complicated than many people realize.

Income thresholds have increased over time, but the calculations themselves have also changed. In many cases, those changes matter more than the thresholds.

For W-2 employees, FAFSA has generally become more restrictive over time.

There have been changes where deductions that once provided meaningful benefits no longer provide the same advantages.

Here's an example that surprises many families.

Let's say a household earns $100,000 and contributes $10,000 into a 401(k).

For tax purposes, they're only taxed on $90,000.

Historically, FAFSA would add those retirement contributions back into the calculation.

Parents thought they were lowering income for financial-aid purposes, but they weren't.

They were sacrificing current spending and saving aggressively, yet receiving little or no FAFSA benefit.

Recent legislative changes have improved some of this, but the larger lesson remains the same:

You cannot assume a tax strategy automatically improves FAFSA outcomes.

You have to understand the details.

For W-2 employees, the available planning levers are often more limited. Inflation pressures make saving harder, and FAFSA calculations don't always adjust in ways families expect.

That doesn't mean nothing can be done. It simply means expectations need to be realistic.

For business owners, however, the picture changes dramatically.

Business owners often have much greater flexibility because they can legally influence how income is recognized and reported.

When those strategies are implemented ethically, legally, and in coordination with a CPA and tax attorney, the impact can be substantial.

I recently worked with a business owner whose Student Aid Index was reduced from approximately $50,000 to around $3,000.

That wasn't accomplished through a 529 plan.

It was accomplished through strategic tax planning, income timing, and asset positioning.

Many parents still remember the term EFC, or Expected Family Contribution.

That term has now been replaced with SAI, the Student Aid Index.

The name changed.

The math largely didn't.

Colleges still use that number to estimate what they believe a family can afford to contribute.

And that number can be influenced when families understand how the system works.

FAFSA is not a checkbox.

It's not something you rush through on a Sunday afternoon.

It's a calculation system that interacts with:

• Income
  • Assets
  • Timing
  • Tax decisions
  • Employment structure

Families who understand those interactions early have options.

Families who don't often find themselves blindsided.

Matt Feret:

Let's talk about what most people think of first when they hear "college planning"—529 plans.

Everyone our age has been conditioned to believe that if you're going to pay for college, you open a 529 when your child is born and contribute regularly.

Why might that be the wrong starting point?

Brian Eyster:

It's a great question, and it's important to be very clear here: I'm not anti-529. I use them myself.

The problem is that most people are taught to treat a 529 as the solution instead of a tool.

We're a society that's been trained to believe every problem has a single-product solution.

High cholesterol? Take a pill.

College? Open a 529.

That kind of thinking skips the bigger picture.

First, we have to define what a 529 plan actually is.

A 529 plan is state-sponsored, not federally sponsored.

That distinction matters because every state has different rules.

Some states allow funds to be used for:

• K-12 private school tuition
  • Student loan repayment, within certain limits
  • Graduate school expenses
  • Roth IRA conversions under certain conditions

Other states do not.

Many people assume 529 plans work the same way everywhere.

They don't.

Matt Feret:

So even though it's called a college savings plan, the rules can vary dramatically depending on where you live?

Brian Eyster:

Exactly.

You're in Illinois. I'm in Michigan.

Let's say we both have $10,000 left over in a 529 account after college.

In Illinois, that money may potentially be used for student loan repayment or even converted into a Roth IRA if certain requirements are met.

In Michigan, I can only use those funds tax-free for undergraduate or graduate education.

I can't use them for K-12 private school tuition.

I can't use them for student loans.

If I do, I lose the tax advantages.

That difference alone changes how a 529 plan should be viewed and utilized.

Here's another point that surprises many parents.

529 balances are counted as parental assets on the FAFSA.

That means if you spend 18 years saving diligently and build a substantial 529 balance, that balance can reduce your child's financial-aid eligibility.

Matt Feret:

Wait a second.

You're telling me that the exact thing parents have been told to do for decades—save responsibly for college—can actually count against them?

Brian Eyster:

Every day. Twice on Sunday.

This is where people become frustrated, and understandably so.

You followed the rules.

You did what advisors, articles, and institutions told you to do.

Then that money is included in the calculations that determine how much aid you won't receive.

Parent-owned 529 plans are generally assessed at up to 5.6% per year for financial-aid purposes.

That may not sound like much, but over multiple years it adds up.

And more importantly, it can become the difference between qualifying for certain grants, scholarships, or institutional aid and not qualifying.

Families are often shocked when they learn this.

Matt Feret:

I have to admit, that feels like a gotcha.

You save, you plan, and then you're penalized for it.

Brian Eyster:

That's exactly how many families feel.

And it supports one of my core beliefs: colleges are businesses.

They have enormous endowments.

They understand incentives.

And many of the rules work in their favor.

Promoting 529 plans encourages families to self-fund education early.

Then counting those assets later reduces the amount of aid schools may need to provide.

Beyond FAFSA considerations, there's another issue that doesn't get discussed enough: loss of flexibility.

Once money goes into a 529:

• It's earmarked for education
  • It comes with usage restrictions
  • It becomes less flexible
  • Improper use can trigger penalties

If a family experiences a job loss, health issue, or other financial emergency, those funds aren't always easily accessible.

That matters, especially for middle-income families that don't have large cash reserves elsewhere.

The long-term impact can be even greater.

Money used for college is money that can no longer compound for retirement.

If you withdraw $100,000 from a 529 at age 50 to pay for college, that's $100,000 that won't continue growing for another 15 to 20 years.

Depending on market performance, that could represent several hundred thousand dollars—or more—in future retirement assets.

Most people never frame the decision that way, but the math is real.

Matt Feret:

So if you're not against 529 plans, how do you use them?

Brian Eyster:

I use them tactically, not emotionally.

I view a 529 as a tax wrapper, not a wealth-building engine.

I generally don't like parking large sums of money inside a 529 for long periods of time.

Instead, I focus on:

• Maintaining flexibility
  • Preserving liquidity
  • Controlling timing

If I want to capture a state tax deduction, I may contribute money to a 529 shortly before paying tuition and then use those funds immediately.

That allows me to benefit from the deduction without exposing assets to long-term FAFSA considerations or losing flexibility.

Another issue many people overlook is investment flexibility.

If you own investments outside of a 529 and the market declines, you may be able to engage in tax-loss harvesting.

You can sell at a loss, claim the tax benefit, and potentially reinvest.

You can't do that inside a 529.

So even from an investment standpoint, you're giving up certain planning opportunities.

This is probably my biggest objection to the default 529 advice.

The average family is saving roughly 5% of its income.

If you're only saving 5% and immediately locking that money into a single-purpose vehicle, you're limiting your options.

Why not first focus on building:

• Emergency reserves
  • Flexible investments
  • Cash-flow buffers
  • Assets that can serve multiple purposes

Then, once those foundations are in place, a 529 may become a useful secondary tool.

The real question isn't whether a 529 is good or bad.

The real question is:

What are you trying to accomplish, and what's the best way to achieve that objective without creating unintended consequences?

Too many people are handed methods without ever discussing objectives.

That's where mistakes happen.

Matt Feret:

Let's talk about another tool that tends to have a bad reputation: student loans.

With everything in the news about loan forgiveness, repayment changes, and politics, a lot of people hear the phrase "student loans" and immediately shut down.

How should families really think about them?

Brian Eyster:

I think the biggest mistake is viewing student loans as either good or bad.

They're neither.

They're simply a tool.

Like any tool, they can be used productively or destructively.

And I want to be very clear: I'm not advocating reckless borrowing.

I'm advocating intentional borrowing.

Matt Feret:

My framework for student loans has always been OPM—other people's money.

Used properly, it can make sense.

Used blindly, it can be disastrous.

Brian Eyster:

Exactly.

We completely agree.

If you can use other people's money while preserving your own assets and allowing them to continue growing, that can be beneficial—provided you have a plan.

The problem is that most families don't have a strategy.

They either avoid student loans at all costs or take them without understanding the long-term consequences.

The reality is that most American households save only about 5% of their income.

That's not a lot of margin.

If you drain your savings accounts or retirement assets simply to avoid student loans, you may win the battle and lose the war.

Preserving assets, liquidity, and flexibility can sometimes be more important than eliminating debt immediately.

Matt Feret:

Let's break down the different types of loans because not all student loans are the same.

Brian Eyster:

Correct.

There's a significant difference between federal student loans and private student loans.

Federal loans often offer:

• More flexible repayment options
  • Income-driven repayment plans
  • Potential employer assistance programs
  • Better hardship protections

Private loans tend to be more rigid and more dependent on creditworthiness.

One category families need to approach carefully is Parent PLUS loans.

These loans:

• Often carry higher interest rates
  • Include origination fees
  • Can be difficult to refinance
  • Remain the parent's responsibility

I often describe Parent PLUS loans as the college decision that follows parents for decades.

They're not inherently bad, but they're frequently misunderstood.

Student loans should never be evaluated in isolation.

They should be coordinated with:

• Cash flow
  • Asset growth
  • Tax planning
  • Career trajectory
  • Future earning potential

Borrowing for a degree with strong earning potential is very different from borrowing heavily without a clear plan.

Matt Feret:

You mentioned earlier that assets held outside retirement accounts can create opportunities. Can you explain that?

Brian Eyster:

Absolutely.

If you hold investments in a taxable account—not inside a 401(k), IRA, or 529—you may have access to asset-based lending.

With asset-based lending:

• Assets serve as collateral
  • Assets remain invested
  • You borrow against them at potentially favorable rates
  • Liquidity is preserved

In some situations, families can use these loans to pay for college while allowing their investments to continue compounding.

That's where math becomes important.

If your investments are growing faster than the interest rate you're paying on borrowed money, you may come out ahead over time.

That doesn't mean ignoring risk.

It means evaluating the overall outcome.

Paying cash for college may feel emotionally comfortable, but financially it isn't always the most efficient option.

In many cases, preserving cash flow is the real goal.

Families often struggle not because they lack assets, but because they experience cash-flow pressure.

Used strategically, student loans can:

• Spread costs over time
  • Reduce short-term financial strain
  • Preserve emergency reserves
  • Prevent the forced liquidation of investments

That flexibility can make all the difference.

Another factor many families overlook is employer student-loan assistance.

Certain employers, particularly in healthcare, education, and public service, offer student-loan repayment benefits.

If a student's career path aligns with those opportunities, borrowing strategically may become even more attractive.

Matt Feret:

It seems like a lot of financial mistakes come from absolute thinking.

Either "never borrow money" or "debt doesn't matter."

Brian Eyster:

That's exactly right.

Financial planning rarely works well at the extremes.

The goal isn't to eliminate student loans at any cost.

The goal is to optimize the entire financial picture.

When families understand that, student loans become a lever rather than a liability.

And this is where student loans often compare favorably to draining:

• Retirement accounts
  • 401(k)s
  • IRAs
  • Long-term investment portfolios

Once money leaves those accounts, it often never returns.

Loans, on the other hand, can be repaid over time—ideally with future income that's greater than today's.

Matt Feret:

I want to talk about something we haven't really dug into yet: home equity.

There was a guest on the show not too long ago who talked about how much home equity exists in the United States right now. We're talking trillions of dollars.

Yet people seem terrified to touch it.

How should families think about home equity when they're trying to pay for college?

Brian Eyster:

I'm a huge fan of home equity, and I'll argue that until I'm blue in the face—when it's used correctly.

Home equity is often one of the largest assets a family owns, yet many people treat it as untouchable.

They see it as something you only access when you're desperate or making a mistake.

That mindset alone causes families to overlook one of the most flexible planning tools available to them.

Real estate has characteristics that many other assets don't.

First, it's tangible.

You live in it.

You use it.

You enjoy it.

Second, it appreciates based on factors that often have nothing to do with your mortgage balance.

Things like:

• Location
  • School districts
  • Infrastructure
  • Crime rates
  • Supply and demand

Whether your home is fully paid off or heavily mortgaged, it generally appreciates at the same rate.

That's a distinction many people overlook.

Here's another point that surprises families:

Your primary residence is ignored on the FAFSA.

The equity in your primary home does not count against you for federal financial-aid purposes.

That makes home equity fundamentally different from:

• 529 plans
  • Brokerage accounts
  • Savings accounts

Those assets are counted.

Your primary residence is not.

Matt Feret:

That's a pretty significant distinction.

Brian Eyster:

It really is.

Now, there is an important caveat.

Private schools that use the CSS Profile often do consider home equity.

But even then, treatment varies significantly from school to school.

Some institutions cap the amount of equity they'll consider.

Others assess only a percentage.

There isn't a universal formula.

That variability creates planning opportunities if families understand it early enough.

It's also important to distinguish between a primary residence and other real estate.

Second homes, vacation properties, rental properties, and investment real estate are generally treated as assets for financial-aid purposes.

That doesn't make them bad assets.

It simply means they're treated differently.

Again, understanding the rules matters.

Matt Feret:

When people hear the phrase "use your house," they immediately think foreclosure, financial distress, or some kind of disaster scenario.

Brian Eyster:

Exactly.

And that's not what we're talking about.

We're talking about thoughtful, structured use of equity through tools such as:

• Home equity lines of credit (HELOCs)
  • Fixed-rate home equity loans
  • Coordinated cash-flow strategies

This isn't panic borrowing.

This isn't a last-resort decision.

It's strategic planning.

Here's why home equity can be powerful.

Let's say you use a portion of your home's equity to help pay for college.

Your house can continue appreciating.

You still own it.

You still live in it.

Meanwhile, you've preserved:

• Retirement accounts
  • Investment portfolios
  • Liquidity elsewhere

The appreciation of the property isn't tied directly to how much you've borrowed against it.

That's leverage—when used responsibly.

Matt Feret:

And I'm assuming tax considerations come into play as well?

Brian Eyster:

Absolutely.

This is where coordination with professionals becomes extremely important.

Depending on how a home-equity loan is structured and how the proceeds are used, there may be tax implications.

Those rules change over time, so families should always consult qualified tax professionals.

But the broader point remains:

Home equity can allow families to access capital without creating some of the FAFSA consequences that other assets create.

Matt Feret:

We should probably touch on reverse mortgages, even though I know the terminology has evolved.

Brian Eyster:

Right.

Most people still refer to them as reverse mortgages, even though the products have evolved considerably.

The versions available today are very different from what many people remember from decades ago.

There are multiple structures, safeguards, and regulations.

Used appropriately—and with professional guidance—they can play a role in certain retirement and college-funding conversations, especially for older homeowners.

They're not appropriate for everyone.

But they're also not the villain many people assume they are.

What really matters is understanding where they fit into the broader financial picture.

This is where college planning and retirement planning intersect.

Using home equity strategically may allow families to:

• Avoid tapping retirement accounts
  • Reduce future tax exposure
  • Preserve compounding assets
  • Maintain flexibility later in life

The goal isn't to choose college over retirement.

The goal is to coordinate both objectives.

One of the biggest mistakes I see isn't misuse of home equity.

It's refusing to consider it at all.

Families will drain 401(k)s, liquidate investments, or overfund other vehicles while sitting on substantial home equity they won't even evaluate.

That imbalance can create long-term damage that might have been avoided.

Matt Feret:

So the house isn't just shelter.

It's part of the family's overall financial system.

Brian Eyster:

Exactly.

Your home isn't just where you live.

It's part of your balance sheet.

When families incorporate housing into their college-planning strategy instead of ignoring it, the number of available options expands dramatically.

Matt Feret:

We've talked a lot about the mechanics of paying for college:

• FAFSA
  • 529 plans
  • Student loans
  • Home equity

But there's a huge emotional component to all of this.

Paying for college is wrapped up in expectations, family history, personal identity, and values.

How do you see that play out with the families you work with?

Brian Eyster:

It's incredibly emotional.

And I want to be transparent about something.

I'm living through this right now, and I do this professionally.

If anyone assumes that because I work in this space my wife and I agree on every college-funding decision, that's simply not true.

We don't.

We have disagreements.

And neither of us is necessarily wrong.

A lot of those differences come from how we were raised and what we learned about money, education, and responsibility growing up.

Those beliefs don't disappear just because you understand the math.

One spouse may come from a family where parents paid for everything.

Another may come from a family where they were expected to figure it out themselves.

Those experiences shape expectations—not only for parents, but for children as well.

Some parents feel a deep obligation to pay for college.

Others believe strongly that students should have skin in the game.

Neither position is inherently right or wrong.

The problems begin when those expectations aren't discussed openly.

Matt Feret:

When should those conversations start?

Not just between spouses, but with kids as well.

Brian Eyster:

Earlier than most people think.

But they don't need to be overwhelming.

I generally recommend beginning the conversation between spouses and within the family during late middle school or early high school.

That doesn't mean sitting down with an eighth grader and explaining FAFSA calculations.

It means beginning conversations about:

• Values
  • Expectations
  • Tradeoffs
  • Responsibilities

For students themselves, I usually recommend more direct involvement around junior year of high school.

Before that point, many students don't even know whether college is the right path.

Why create unnecessary stress before it's relevant?

By junior year, things become more real:

• Grades matter more
  • Schools are being evaluated
  • Costs become tangible
  • Choices start narrowing

That's when transparency becomes important.

One challenge parents often underestimate is that kids experience money differently than adults.

When many of us were growing up, money was physical.

Cash was cash.

When it was gone, it was gone.

Today, money is largely digital:

• Debit cards
  • Apps
  • Tap-to-pay systems
  • Subscription services

Kids often see numbers instead of consequences.

So when a parent says:

"This school costs $25,000 more per year."

That number doesn't always register emotionally.

That's why context matters.

Boundaries matter.

And education matters.

Matt Feret:

This is where things become difficult.

How do you tell a teenager that the school they love may not be financially realistic?

Brian Eyster:

It's one of the hardest conversations parents have.

A student may say:

"All my friends are going there."

Or:

"This is my dream school."

Parents have to balance those emotions with reality.

I encourage families to ask questions like:

• What does this decision mean for our family long-term?
  • What are we sacrificing to make this happen?
  • Is this school meaningfully different for the career path you're pursuing?

One thing many students—and many parents—struggle with is the relationship between college prestige and career outcomes.

In many professions, employers care much more about what you can do than where you went to school.

And in fields that require graduate education, the undergraduate institution may matter far less than people think.

Trying to explain that to a 17-year-old can be challenging.

Another emotional hurdle is the assumption that a traditional four-year university is the only path to success.

That's simply not true.

Trade schools, community colleges, and alternative education pathways can produce outstanding outcomes—often with far less debt.

Families that can separate themselves from societal pressure often make better financial decisions.

One of the most damaging outcomes I see is resentment.

Parents resent sacrificing retirement security.

Children resent inheriting debt they didn't fully understand.

Clear communication early in the process helps avoid both.

College planning isn't about forcing decisions.

It's about aligning expectations.

Matt Feret:

What about grandparents and extended family members who want to help?

Brian Eyster:

That introduces another layer of complexity.

Grandparents often have the best intentions.

But how they help matters.

A well-intentioned gift can sometimes negatively affect financial-aid eligibility if it's structured improperly.

Again, it's not about saying no to help.

It's about coordinating the help correctly.

At the end of the day, college funding isn't solely the student's decision.

It isn't solely the parents' decision.

It's a family decision with long-term consequences.

When families approach it that way—both emotionally and financially—the outcomes tend to improve dramatically.

Matt Feret:

Before we wrap up, let's answer a practical question that people are probably asking themselves right now.

When is it too early to start planning for college, and when is it too late?

Brian Eyster:

There really isn't a bad time to start.

But when you start determines which options are still available.

I generally think about college planning in three phases.

For families with children in middle school or younger, the focus is on building a strong foundation rather than implementing specific tactics.

At this stage, we're not worrying about FAFSA forms or targeting specific schools.

Instead, we're focused on:

• Improving cash flow
  • Building flexible assets
  • Understanding tax efficiency
  • Creating optionality

This is the easiest phase to plan in because there are no immediate deadlines and very few consequences if adjustments need to be made.

As children move into early high school, things become more concrete.

Now we can begin to:

• Model different scenarios
  • Estimate future costs
  • Project asset growth
  • Understand how FAFSA and CSS Profile rules may apply later

At this point, nothing is fully locked in, which allows families to evaluate different strategies without excessive pressure.

Junior year becomes the transition point.

That's when timing starts to matter significantly.

By senior year, some planning opportunities—particularly income-related strategies—have largely passed.

However, that doesn't mean all options disappear.

Planning at that stage often focuses on:

• Asset positioning
  • Financial-aid negotiations
  • Appeal letters
  • Strategic borrowing decisions

Families who understand the rules can still improve outcomes.

The margin for error is simply smaller.

Matt Feret:

You mentioned negotiations earlier.

That's another area many people don't realize is even possible.

Brian Eyster:

Most families assume a financial-aid offer is final.

It isn't.

Colleges are businesses.

Their initial offer is often a starting point.

Families can appeal financial-aid decisions for a variety of reasons, including:

• Changes in income
  • Job loss
  • One-time bonuses
  • Medical expenses
  • Business disruptions
  • Unique family circumstances

If you don't ask, the answer is always no.

Matt Feret:

Why do colleges do that?

Brian Eyster:

Because colleges want to know the minimum amount of aid they need to offer in order to enroll a student.

That doesn't make them bad.

It makes them businesses.

Once families understand that dynamic, they're often much more willing to advocate for themselves.

And to be clear, this isn't about gaming the system.

It's not about cheating.

It's not about manipulation.

It's about understanding how the system works and making informed, ethical decisions.

Families who plan proactively aren't doing anything wrong.

They're simply operating within the same rules institutions already understand.

Matt Feret:

Let's bring this full circle because everything we've discussed ultimately ties back to retirement.

Brian Eyster:

Exactly.

One of the biggest mistakes families make is treating college planning as a standalone problem.

It isn't.

Every dollar spent on college is a dollar that:

• Can't continue growing for retirement
  • Can't generate future income
  • Can't provide flexibility later in life

My goal is to help families pay for college while protecting retirement—not sacrificing one for the other.

If I had to summarize the GRAD Process, it exists to:

• Create clarity
  • Preserve control
  • Protect flexibility
  • Reduce unnecessary sacrifice

Instead of defaulting to products, we focus on objectives.

Instead of reacting, we plan.

Instead of hoping, we model outcomes.

College funding touches almost every area of a family's financial life:

• Taxes
  • Cash flow
  • Investments
  • Retirement
  • Housing
  • Financial-aid formulas
  • Family dynamics

That's a lot for families to navigate on their own, especially when they're under time pressure.

Working with someone who understands how those pieces connect can make a tremendous difference.

Matt Feret:

If someone listening wants to learn more or see whether working with you makes sense, where should they start?

Brian Eyster:

The best place to start is my website: EssentialStrategies.net.

There, you can:

• Learn more about the GRAD Process
  • Download educational resources
  • Schedule a brief introductory call

That first conversation is really about determining fit.

If we're not the right fit, that's perfectly okay.

I'll do my best to point you toward resources or professionals who may be able to help.

Matt Feret:

Any final thoughts before we wrap up?

Brian Eyster:

College planning doesn't have to mean panic, sacrifice, or regret.

With the right information and the right strategy, families can support their children's education while still protecting their own financial future.

The earlier families begin asking questions, understanding their options, and coordinating decisions, the more flexibility they'll have.

At the end of the day, the goal isn't simply to pay for college.

The goal is to pay for college in a way that doesn't create unintended financial consequences for the next twenty or thirty years of your life.