Matt Feret:
Today we’re talking about a financial topic that hits almost every family. That includes kids, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, second cousins, and even long-lost relatives — and that topic is how to pay for college without blowing up your retirement plans.
My guest today is Brian Eyster. Brian has spent more than 26 years helping families navigate exactly this problem. He’s the founder of the GRAD Process — G-R-A-D — a system designed to help parents fund college without sacrificing their long-term financial security.
Brian is a Certified College Funding Specialist, a speaker, and a financial strategist. He combines his professional experience with personal experience because he’s walked this road himself, planning for his own kids’ education — just like I have.
Today we’re going to unpack why traditional college savings strategies often quietly sabotage families, how tools like home equity and cash flow can be used more efficiently, and how business owners — whether large, small, or side-hustle — can turn college funding into a smarter tax and planning strategy.
Brian, welcome to the show.
Brian Eyster:
Thanks for having me, Matt. I’m really looking forward to this conversation. I think it’s going to be a fun one.

Brian’s Career Background and Path Into College Planning
Matt Feret:
Let’s start with your background. In your own words, tell everyone what you do, how long you’ve been doing it, and what led you to specialize in helping families plan for college and retirement at the same time.
Brian Eyster:
That’s a great question. I’ve been in financial services — or financial advising, whatever label you want to use — since I graduated college in 1998. That puts me right around my 27-year anniversary in this business.
I’ve always loved what I do because I enjoy problem-solving. What I started to notice, especially around the mid-to-late 2010s, was a trend with my clients. Many of them were my age or slightly older, and their kids were starting to approach college.
If I had been working with those families for several years, things were usually in good shape. It was just a matter of sitting down, reviewing what we did, why we did it, and when we did it, and that put them at ease.
But what really caught my attention was what I started hearing outside my client base.

The Panic Parents Feel About Paying for College
As my kids got older and started playing sports, I was spending more time out on the fields, talking with other parents. And the number one panic attack parents were having was this: “What in the world am I going to do about paying for college?”
The range of responses was fascinating. You had families who said, “It’s all taken care of, we planned early.” You had families relying on well-off grandparents. You had families who said, “I didn’t get a penny, so they won’t either.”
These were all people I knew, liked, and respected — but they had wildly different philosophies.
Standing behind the right-field fence, listening to these conversations, it really made me stop and think.

Coaching, Strategy, and Seeing the Gaps
One day I was talking with a close friend I’ve coached with for years. We were having the same kind of strategic conversation we’d have when scouting another baseball or softball team.
We’d talk about tendencies — who bunts, who steals, how the catcher throws to second, whether the shortstop cuts in front of the bag. All of those little details that change outcomes.
And it hit me: I was doing the same thing mentally with college planning.
Parents simply don’t know what they don’t know. They don’t know the rules, the timing, the hidden strategies, or the downstream consequences.
My friend looked at me and said, “You really need to focus on this.”
That’s when the idea for what eventually became the GRAD Process was born, back in 2019.

Personal Experience: Not an Ivory Tower Perspective
Fast-forward to today, and everything is fully launched. I have one child currently in college, roughly at junior status, and another who is a high school senior.
I’m not sitting in some ivory tower talking theoretically about what parents should do. I’m in it. Just last night, I was up until almost midnight writing a financial aid appeal letter for my oldest daughter.
There were some unique circumstances, and we decided it was worth getting in the box and taking a swing. If you don’t swing the bat, you’ll never know the outcome.
So far, it’s worked. We’ve appealed earlier this year and had success.
And as parents started coming to me saying, “What do we do here?” or “We have this — is that good or bad?” sometimes the answer was “Great.” Other times it was, “You’re not going to like what that looks like 15 or 20 years down the road.”
That’s where this work really lives.

What the GRAD Process Is Designed to Do
The GRAD Process exists to take a family’s situation and put it in logical order.
What have you already done?
Where are you right now?
What are you thinking about doing next?
Do you actually have the tools and information needed to make an educated decision?
Or are you just hoping it all works out?
We also stress-test decisions. What happens if income changes? What happens if the market changes? What happens if plans shift?
And most importantly, we look for ways to recapture money that families are unknowingly leaking.

Why College Planning Needs to Be a Process — Not a Product
Matt Feret:
You mentioned earlier that this is a process, not just a product. Why does that distinction matter?
Brian Eyster:
Because traditional college planning usually jumps straight to products. It skips the thinking part.
The GRAD Process starts with where you are right now. That’s what the “G” stands for — getting grounded in your actual situation. We collect data first, without judgment.
Parents often come in at different stages — some with high school seniors, some with juniors, some with younger kids. And timing matters a lot.
For parents of high school seniors, many of the tax decisions that could have helped should have happened during junior year. That window is closed. But that doesn’t mean nothing can be done.
At that point, we shift the focus to assets — how they’re positioned, how they’re counted, and how they affect financial aid calculations.

A Warning for Parents of High School Seniors
Here’s something I want parents of seniors to hear clearly:
If you filed the FAFSA and no one reviewed it, that’s the equivalent of writing your college dissertation without editing it.
Parents aren’t taught this. No one ever sat us down and explained FAFSA rules in school. Most parents just get an email that says, “Click here and fill out this federal form.”
The information itself might not be wrong — but it’s incomplete.
And that lack of nuance can cost families real money.

Why FAFSA Is Not a Last-Minute Exercise
College planning is not cramming for a midterm the night before, pulling an all-nighter, and hoping for the best.
Ideally, families should be looking at this during junior year of high school. Seniors can still do things — but the options are more limited.
Another thing many parents don’t realize is that FAFSA must be filed every single year. It’s not a one-and-done event.
That misunderstanding alone can create major problems later.
FAFSA Deep Dive, Income vs. Assets, and Why Timing Matters More Than Most Parents Realize - Why FAFSA Is More Than “Just a Form”
Matt Feret:
Let’s stay on FAFSA for a moment, because people listening are in all different stages. Some have kids in middle school, some have juniors and seniors, and some already have kids in college. Others are helping with tuition right now.
You said something earlier that really stood out — that filing the FAFSA without review is like submitting a dissertation without edits. That’s a strong statement. So walk us through FAFSA from the top. Who should fill it out, when, and how should parents really be thinking about it?
Brian Eyster:
That falls directly under the “G” in the GRAD Process — where you are right now.
FAFSA stands for the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. It’s the federal form used primarily by public universities. There’s also a separate form called the CSS Profile, which is used by a select group of private schools.
The FAFSA itself isn’t inherently bad. The issue is how casually families approach it.

FAFSA vs. CSS Profile: A Critical Distinction
The FAFSA has roughly 50 to 70 questions, depending on your situation. It’s relatively straightforward.
The CSS Profile, on the other hand, is far more invasive. It’s used by around 200 private schools. Those schools aren’t distributing federal money — they’re using their own endowment funds. Because of that, they want to know much more about your financial life.
The CSS Profile digs into areas the FAFSA doesn’t. It’s longer, more detailed, and more subjective.
Most families have no idea this distinction exists until they’re already deep into the process.

“My Income Is Too High” — Why That’s Often the Wrong Assumption
One of the most common questions I hear is: “My income is too high. Should I even bother filling out the FAFSA?”
The answer, in most cases, is yes.
And here’s why.
First, we need to define what kind of aid we’re talking about. There’s need-based financial aid, which looks at income and assets. Then there’s merit-based aid, which is based on the student — grades, test scores, academic fit.
Many universities require a completed FAFSA even to award merit-based scholarships.
So families who skip FAFSA because they assume they won’t qualify may be shutting the door on free money.

What “Aid” Really Means
When people hear “financial aid,” they often assume it means grants or free money.
But aid can include:
• Grants
• Scholarships
• Subsidized student loans
• Institutional discounts
• Merit-based awards
Even families with high incomes may still qualify for some of these, especially merit-based awards.
That’s why FAFSA isn’t just about income. It’s about positioning.

Why Filing FAFSA Every Year Matters
Another major misunderstanding is thinking FAFSA only needs to be filed once.
FAFSA must be filed every year.
And here’s where things get dangerous for families who skip it early on.
Let’s say a family decides not to file FAFSA for freshman year because they’re doing well financially and plan to cash-flow tuition.
Then something happens — job loss, business downturn, health issue, or a major economic event like COVID.
Now the child is heading into sophomore year, and the family suddenly needs help.
Many universities will say, “You didn’t file freshman year. You told us you didn’t need aid. We’re sorry, but you’re not eligible now.”
Not all schools do this — but enough do that it’s a serious risk.

COVID as a Real-World Example
COVID is a perfect example of why FAFSA flexibility matters.
I worked with many small business owners who were doing great one month and completely shut down six months later.
Imagine a family that skipped FAFSA because they were strong financially. Then COVID hits. Their income collapses. They now need need-based aid.
Without a FAFSA on file, many schools simply say no.
Filing FAFSA keeps the door open.

How FAFSA Looks at Income vs. Assets
Matt Feret:
Let’s talk about how FAFSA actually looks at income and assets, because this is where it gets confusing.
Brian Eyster:
Absolutely. FAFSA is weighted heavily toward income, but assets still matter.
Parent-owned assets are assessed at a maximum rate of about 5.6%. That number can be slightly lower depending on circumstances, but that’s the high end.
Income is the bigger driver, but asset positioning can still move the needle significantly.
That’s why timing matters so much.

Junior Year: The Critical Planning Window
Junior year of high school is when proactive planning can still make a real difference.
That’s the year where certain tax decisions, asset shifts, and planning strategies can still impact FAFSA calculations.
Once you hit senior year, your income is largely locked in based on prior tax returns. At that point, planning becomes more about asset positioning than income manipulation.
Seniors still have options — but fewer of them.

FAFSA Calculations Have Changed Over Time
Matt Feret:
Let me ask something broader. In other federal programs — Social Security, Medicare, IRMAA — we see income thresholds that don’t always feel realistic given inflation.
Do FAFSA income limits change in the same way? Are more people getting squeezed out over time?
Brian Eyster:
That’s a great question, and it’s more complicated than most people realize.
Income limits have increased over time, but the calculation itself has changed — and that matters more than the raw numbers.
For W-2 employees, FAFSA has generally become more restrictive over time.
There have been changes where certain deductions that used to help no longer help in the same way.

Retirement Contributions and FAFSA: A Common Trap
Here’s an example that catches a lot of families.
Let’s say a household earns $100,000 and contributes $10,000 to a 401(k). On their tax return, they’re taxed on $90,000.
But historically, FAFSA would add back those retirement contributions when calculating eligibility.
So families thought they were lowering income for FAFSA — but they weren’t.
That meant parents scrimped, saved, and sacrificed — and got no FAFSA benefit.
Recent legislative changes have improved this somewhat, but the takeaway is the same: you can’t assume tax strategies automatically help FAFSA.
You have to read the fine print.

Why W-2 Employees Often Have Fewer Levers
For W-2 employees, options are more limited. Inflation pressures make saving harder, and FAFSA calculations don’t always adjust fairly.
That doesn’t mean nothing can be done — but it does mean families need realistic expectations.
For business owners, however, the picture changes dramatically.

Business Owners and FAFSA Planning
Business owners often have far more flexibility because they can legally control how income is reported and when it’s recognized.
When done ethically and legally — and coordinated with a CPA and tax attorney — the impact can be dramatic.
I recently worked with a business owner where we reduced their Student Aid Index from $50,000 to $3,000.
That didn’t happen by dumping money into a 529. It happened through strategic planning across taxes, income timing, and asset positioning.

SAI vs. EFC: New Name, Same Consequences
Many parents still remember the term EFC — Expected Family Contribution.
That term has now been replaced with SAI, the Student Aid Index.
The name changed. The math largely didn’t.
Colleges still use this number to determine what they believe a family can afford to pay.
And that number can be influenced — if you understand the system.

The Core Lesson of FAFSA Planning
FAFSA is not a checkbox.
It’s not something you rush through on a Sunday afternoon.
It’s a calculation system that interacts with:
• Income
• Assets
• Timing
• Tax decisions
• Employment structure
Families who understand this early have more options. Families who don’t often feel blindsided.
529 Plans, State Rules, FAFSA Penalties, and the Hidden Cost of “Doing the Right Thing” - Why 529 Plans Became the Default Advice
Matt Feret:
Let’s talk about what most people think of first when they hear “college planning” — 529 plans.
Everyone our age has been conditioned to believe that if you’re going to pay for college, you open a 529 when your child is born and contribute regularly. Why might that be the wrong starting point?
Brian Eyster:
It’s a great question, and it’s important to be very clear here: I’m not anti-529. I use them myself.
The problem is that most people are taught to treat a 529 as the solution instead of a tool.
We’re a society that’s been trained to believe that every problem has a single product solution. High cholesterol? Take a pill. College? Open a 529.
That thinking skips the bigger picture.

What a 529 Plan Actually Is
First, we have to define what a 529 plan really is.
A 529 is state-sponsored, not federally sponsored. That distinction matters a lot because every state has different rules.
Some states allow:
• K-12 private school tuition
• Student loan repayment (up to limits)
• Graduate school
• Roth IRA conversions under certain conditions
Other states don’t.
People assume a 529 works the same everywhere. It doesn’t.

State-by-State Rules: Why Location Matters
Matt Feret:
So even though it’s a “college savings plan,” the rules vary dramatically depending on where you live?
Brian Eyster:
Exactly.
You’re in Illinois. I’m in Michigan. Let’s say we both have $10,000 left over in a 529 after college.
In Illinois, that money can potentially be used for student loan repayment or even converted into a Roth IRA if certain conditions are met.
In Michigan, I can only use that money tax-free for undergraduate or graduate school. That’s it.
I can’t use it for K-12 private school. I can’t use it for student loans. If I do, I lose the tax benefits.
That difference alone changes how a 529 should be used.

The FAFSA Bombshell: 529 Balances Count Against You
Here’s the part that stops people in their tracks — and most parents have never been told this.
529 balances are counted as parental assets on the FAFSA.
That means if you save diligently for 18 years and build a large 529 balance, that money can reduce your child’s financial aid eligibility.
Matt Feret:
Wait a second. You’re telling me that the very thing parents were told to do for decades — save responsibly — is now counted against them?
Brian Eyster:
All day. Every day. And twice on Sunday.
This is where people get frustrated, and understandably so.
You followed the rules. You did what advisors, articles, and institutions told you to do. And now that money is used in the calculation to determine how much aid you don’t get.

How 529 Assets Are Assessed
529 plans owned by parents are typically assessed at up to 5.6% per year for financial aid purposes.
That may not sound like much, but over multiple years, it adds up.
And more importantly, it can be the difference between qualifying for certain grants or scholarships — or not.
Families are often stunned when they learn this.

Why This Feels Like a “Gotcha”
Matt Feret:
I have to be honest — that feels like a “gotcha.”
You save, you plan, and then you’re penalized for it.
Brian Eyster:
That’s exactly how many families feel when they learn this for the first time.
And it feeds into one of my core beliefs: colleges are businesses.
They have massive endowments. They understand incentives. And the rules often work in their favor.
Promoting 529s gets families to self-fund education early. Counting those assets later reduces the school’s need to give aid.

Liquidity and Control: The Bigger Problem With 529s
Beyond FAFSA, there’s another issue that rarely gets discussed: loss of control.
Once money goes into a 529:
• It’s earmarked for education
• It has usage restrictions
• It loses flexibility
• It can create penalties if misused
If an emergency happens — job loss, health issue, family crisis — that money isn’t easily accessible.
That matters, especially for middle-income families who don’t have large cash reserves elsewhere.

Opportunity Cost and Retirement Impact
Here’s where the long-term damage often occurs.
Money spent on college is money that no longer exists for retirement.
If you pull $100,000 out of a 529 at age 50 to pay for college, that’s $100,000 that no longer compounds for the next 15 to 20 years.
Depending on market performance, that could easily represent several hundred thousand dollars — or more — of lost retirement assets.
People rarely frame it that way, but the math is real.

Why Brian Uses a 529 — But Very Differently
Matt Feret:
So if you’re not against 529s, how do you use them?
Brian Eyster:
I use them tactically, not emotionally.
I see a 529 as a tax wrapper, not a wealth-building engine.
I choose not to park large sums of money inside a 529 for long periods of time.
Instead, I focus on:
• Keeping assets flexible
• Preserving liquidity
• Controlling timing
If I want to take advantage of a state tax deduction, I might move money into a 529 shortly before paying tuition, then immediately use it.
That way I capture the deduction without long-term exposure to FAFSA penalties or loss of control.

Tax Loss Harvesting and Missed Flexibility
Another downside most people don’t realize is investment flexibility.
If you own investments outside a 529 and the market dips, you may be able to tax-loss harvest — selling at a loss, writing it off, and reinvesting.
You can’t do that inside a 529.
So even from an investment standpoint, you’re giving up tools.

Why the “First Dollar” Shouldn’t Go Into a 529
This is my biggest objection to default 529 advice.
Families are saving, on average, about 5% of their income.
If you’re only saving 5% and you lock that money into a single-use vehicle, you’re limiting yourself.
Why not first build:
• Emergency reserves
• Flexible investments
• Cash flow buffers
• Assets that can serve multiple purposes
Then, once those are in place, a 529 may make sense as a secondary tool.

The Real Question Parents Should Ask
The question isn’t, “Is a 529 good or bad?”
The real question is:
What is the objective, and what’s the best way to achieve it without creating unintended consequences?
Most people are handed methods without understanding objectives.
That’s where mistakes happen.

Student Loans as a Tool, OPM Thinking, and Preserving Cash Flow
Reframing Student Loans: Tool vs. Trap
Matt Feret:
Let’s talk about another tool that tends to get a bad reputation — student loans. With everything in the news about forgiveness, repayment changes, and politics, a lot of people just hear “student loans” and shut down. How should families really think about them?
Brian Eyster:
I think the biggest mistake is viewing student loans as either “good” or “bad.” They’re neither. They’re a tool.
Like any tool, they can be used productively or destructively.
I want to be very clear here — I’m not advocating reckless borrowing. I’m advocating intentional borrowing.

Other People’s Money (OPM) and College Funding
Matt Feret:
My framework for student loans has always been the idea of OPM — other people’s money. Used properly, it can make sense. Used blindly, it can be disastrous.
Brian Eyster:
Exactly. We agree completely.
If you can use other people’s money while keeping your own assets intact and growing, that can be a net positive — if you have a plan.
The problem is most families don’t have a strategy. They either avoid student loans at all costs or take them without understanding the long-term impact.

Why Preserving Assets Often Matters More Than Avoiding Debt
Here’s the reality: most American households save about 5% of their income.
That’s not a lot of margin.
If you drain your savings or retirement accounts to avoid student loans, you may win the battle and lose the war.
Holding onto assets — cash, investments, flexibility — can matter more than eliminating all debt immediately.

Public vs. Private Student Loans
Matt Feret:
Let’s break this down. Not all student loans are the same.
Brian Eyster:
Correct. There’s a big difference between public (federal) student loans and private student loans.
Federal loans often come with:
• More flexible repayment options
• Income-driven repayment plans
• Potential employer assistance programs
• Better protections in hardship scenarios
Private loans are typically more rigid and credit-driven.

Parent PLUS Loans: The Hidden Cost
One category families need to be especially cautious about is Parent PLUS loans.
These loans:
• Often have higher interest rates
• Include origination fees
• Can be difficult to refinance
• Stay with the parent, not the student
I often describe Parent PLUS loans as “the decision you made in college that never goes away.”
They’re not inherently evil — but they’re frequently misunderstood and misused.

Timing Matters With Student Loans
Student loans should never be taken in isolation.
They should be coordinated with:
• Cash flow
• Asset growth
• Tax strategy
• Career trajectory
• Expected future income
Taking loans for a degree that doesn’t align with realistic earning potential is very different from borrowing strategically for a profession with strong income prospects.

Asset-Based Lending: A Smarter Alternative in Some Cases
Matt Feret:
You mentioned earlier that assets held outside retirement accounts can open doors. Can you explain that?
Brian Eyster:
Absolutely.
If you hold investments in a taxable account — not inside a 401(k), IRA, or 529 — you may be able to use asset-based lending.
That means:
• You pledge assets as collateral
• The assets remain invested
• You borrow against them at favorable rates
• You preserve liquidity and growth
In some cases, families can use asset-based loans to cover college costs while allowing their investments to continue compounding.

Comparing Interest Rates vs. Growth Rates
This is where math matters.
If your assets are growing at a higher rate than the interest on a loan, you may come out ahead over time.
That doesn’t mean ignoring risk — it means understanding net outcomes.
Blindly paying for college with cash may feel emotionally safe, but financially it can be costly.

Cash Flow Preservation Is Often the Real Goal
Most families don’t fail because of a lack of assets. They fail because of cash flow strain.
Student loans, when used thoughtfully, can:
• Spread costs over time
• Reduce short-term financial stress
• Preserve emergency reserves
• Prevent forced liquidation of assets
That flexibility can make the difference between stability and panic.

Employer Repayment Programs and Career Alignment
Another overlooked factor is employer student loan assistance.
Some employers — especially in healthcare, education, and public service — offer repayment benefits.
If a student’s career path includes those opportunities, borrowing strategically can be even more advantageous.

The Danger of Absolutes
Matt Feret:
It seems like a lot of bad outcomes come from absolute thinking — “never take debt” or “debt doesn’t matter.”
Brian Eyster:
That’s exactly right.
Financial planning rarely works well in extremes.
The goal isn’t to eliminate student loans at all costs. The goal is to optimize the entire financial picture.
When families understand that, student loans become a lever — not a liability.

Transition: Student Loans vs. Locked-Up Savings
This is where student loans often compare favorably to draining:
• Retirement accounts
• 401(k)s
• IRAs
• Long-term investment portfolios
Once money leaves those accounts, it often never comes back.
Loans, on the other hand, can be repaid over time — ideally with future income that’s higher than today’s.
Home Equity, Real Estate, and Using the House Without Blowing Up the Plan
Home Equity: The Asset Most Families Ignore
Matt Feret:
I want to talk about something we haven’t really dug into yet — home equity. There was a guest on the show not too long ago who talked about how much home equity exists in the U.S. right now, and it’s in the trillions of dollars. Yet people are terrified to touch it. How should families think about home equity when they’re trying to pay for college?
Brian Eyster:
I’m a huge fan of home equity, and I’ll argue that until I’m blue in the face — when it’s used correctly.
Home equity is often one of the largest assets families have, yet it’s treated like it’s untouchable. People see it as something you only access if you’re desperate or making a mistake.
That mindset alone causes families to overlook one of their most flexible planning tools.

Why Real Estate Is Different From Other Assets
Real estate has characteristics that other assets don’t.
First, it’s tangible. You live in it. You use it. You enjoy it.
Second, it appreciates based on factors that have nothing to do with your mortgage — location, school district, crime rates, infrastructure, and demand.
Whether your home is paid off or heavily mortgaged, it generally appreciates at the same rate.
That’s a key distinction most people miss.

FAFSA Treatment of the Primary Residence
Here’s another critical point that surprises families.
Your primary residence is ignored on the FAFSA.
That means the equity in your home does not count against you for federal financial aid purposes.
This alone makes home equity fundamentally different from:
• 529 plans
• Brokerage accounts
• Savings accounts
Those assets are counted. Your primary home is not.

CSS Profile and Home Equity
Now, there is an important caveat.
Private schools that use the CSS Profile do look at home equity. But even then, how they assess it varies widely by institution.
Some schools cap how much equity they consider. Others apply a percentage. There’s no universal rule.
That variability creates planning opportunities — if families understand it early enough.

Second Homes and Investment Properties
It’s also important to distinguish between primary residences and other real estate.
Second homes, rental properties, and investment real estate are typically counted as assets for financial aid purposes.
That doesn’t mean they’re bad assets — it just means they’re treated differently.
Again, the key is knowing how each asset is categorized.

Using Home Equity Without Panic
Matt Feret:
People hear “use your house” and immediately think foreclosure or disaster.
Brian Eyster:
Right — and that’s not what we’re talking about.
We’re talking about structured, intentional use of equity:
• Home equity lines of credit (HELOCs)
• Fixed-rate home equity loans
• Coordinated cash-flow strategies
Not panic borrowing. Not last-resort decisions.

Leverage and Appreciation: Why the Math Can Work
Here’s why home equity can be powerful.
Let’s say you use a portion of your home equity to pay for college. Your home continues to appreciate. You’re not selling it. You’re not giving up ownership.
Meanwhile, you’ve preserved:
• Retirement accounts
• Investment portfolios
• Liquidity elsewhere
The appreciation of the home isn’t tied to how much you borrowed against it.
That’s leverage — when used responsibly.

Tax Considerations and Professional Coordination
Brian Eyster:
This is where coordination with professionals matters.
Depending on how a home equity loan is structured and how funds are used, there may be tax considerations. Those rules change, and families need to consult their tax professionals.
But the bigger picture is this: home equity allows families to move money without triggering FAFSA penalties that other assets do.

Reverse Mortgages (and What They’re Really Called Now)
Matt Feret:
We should probably touch on reverse mortgages, even though they’re not called that anymore.
Brian Eyster:
Right. The terminology has evolved, but most people still know them as reverse mortgages.
These products are very different today than they were decades ago. There are multiple variations, rules, and safeguards.
Used correctly — and with professional guidance — they can be part of a broader retirement and college funding conversation, especially for older homeowners.
They’re not for everyone, but they’re also not the villain they’re often portrayed as.

Home Equity and Retirement Are Linked
This is where college planning and retirement planning intersect.
Using home equity to help pay for college may allow families to:
• Avoid tapping retirement accounts
• Reduce future tax exposure
• Preserve compounding assets
• Maintain flexibility later in life
It’s not about choosing college over retirement — it’s about coordinating both.

The Danger of Ignoring the House Entirely
The biggest mistake families make with home equity isn’t misuse — it’s non-use.
They’ll drain 401(k)s, liquidate investments, or overload 529 plans while sitting on significant equity they refuse to consider.
That imbalance often creates long-term damage that could have been avoided.

Transition: Housing as Part of the Bigger Plan
Matt Feret:
So the house isn’t just shelter — it’s part of the financial system.
Brian Eyster:
Exactly.
Your house isn’t just where you live. It’s part of your balance sheet.
When families integrate housing into college planning — instead of ignoring it — the options expand dramatically.
The Emotional Side of College Planning, Spouses, and Family Dynamics
Why College Funding Is Emotional — Not Just Financial
Matt Feret:
We’ve talked a lot about the mechanics — FAFSA, 529s, student loans, home equity. But there’s a big emotional component to all of this. Paying for college is wrapped up in expectations, family history, and identity. How do you see that play out with the families you work with?
Brian Eyster:
It’s incredibly emotional. And I want to be very transparent here — I’m living this right now, and I do this for a living.
If anyone thinks that because I work in this space my wife and I agree on everything related to college funding, that’s just not true. We don’t. We have disagreements, and neither of us is wrong.
A lot of those differences come from how we were raised and what we were taught about money, education, and responsibility. Those beliefs don’t just disappear because you understand the math.

Different Upbringings, Different Expectations
One spouse may come from a background where parents paid for everything. Another may come from a background where they had to figure it out on their own.
Those experiences shape expectations — not just for the parents, but for the kids as well.
Some parents feel a deep obligation to help pay for college. Others feel strongly that their kids need “skin in the game.” Neither position is inherently right or wrong.
The problem happens when those expectations aren’t discussed openly.

Why These Conversations Need to Start Earlier Than Most Parents Think
Matt Feret:
When should families start having these conversations — not just between spouses, but with kids?
Brian Eyster:
The conversation should start earlier than most people think, but it doesn’t need to be overwhelming.
I’d say late middle school to early high school is a good time to start laying the groundwork between spouses and within the family.
That doesn’t mean sitting an eighth grader down and explaining FAFSA formulas. It means starting to talk about values, expectations, and tradeoffs.

When to Involve the Child Directly
For the child, I usually recommend involving them more meaningfully around junior year of high school.
Before that, many kids don’t even know if college is the right path for them. Why create stress or conflict before it’s necessary?
By junior year, things get real:
• Grades matter
• Schools are being discussed
• Costs are becoming tangible
• Choices start narrowing
That’s when transparency becomes important.

Kids Don’t Feel Money the Way Parents Do
One challenge parents often underestimate is that kids don’t experience money the same way adults do.
When we were growing up, money was cash. When it was gone, it was gone.
Today, money is abstract:
• Debit cards
• Apps
• Tap-to-pay
• Automatic subscriptions
Kids see numbers, not consequences.
So when you say, “This school costs $25,000 more per year,” that number often doesn’t register emotionally.
That’s why context and boundaries matter.

Managing Expectations Around School Choice
Matt Feret:
This is where it gets tough — telling a teenager that a school they love might not be financially realistic.
Brian Eyster:
It’s one of the hardest conversations parents have.
A child may say, “All my friends are going there,” or “This is my dream school.”
Parents have to balance that emotion with reality.
Questions I encourage families to ask include:
• What does this choice mean for our family long-term?
• What are we giving up to make this happen?
• Is this school meaningfully different for the career path you want?

College Prestige vs. Career Outcomes
Here’s something many kids — and parents — struggle with.
In many professions, employers care far more about what you can do than where you went to school.
In some fields, especially those requiring graduate degrees, the undergraduate school matters very little compared to the advanced degree.
Trying to explain that to a 17-year-old can be extremely difficult.

Trade Schools, Community College, and Alternative Paths
Another emotional layer is the assumption that four-year college is the only “successful” path.
That’s simply not true.
Trade schools, community colleges, and alternative education paths can lead to excellent outcomes — often with far less debt.
Parents who can emotionally detach from societal pressure often make better financial decisions.

Avoiding Resentment Later
One of the most damaging outcomes I see is resentment — from parents or children.
Parents may resent sacrificing retirement security.
Children may resent being saddled with debt they didn’t fully understand.
Clear communication early helps avoid that.
College planning isn’t about forcing a decision — it’s about aligning expectations.

The Role of Extended Family
Matt Feret:
What about grandparents or other relatives who want to help?
Brian Eyster:
That adds another layer.
Grandparents may want to help, but how they help matters. A well-intentioned gift can sometimes hurt financial aid eligibility if it’s not structured properly.
Again, coordination matters.
It’s not about saying “no” to help — it’s about channeling it correctly.

Why This Is a Family Decision, Not Just a Student Decision
At the end of the day, paying for college isn’t just the student’s decision or the parent’s decision.
It’s a family decision with long-term consequences.
When families treat it that way — emotionally and financially — outcomes improve dramatically.

Timing, Negotiation, Final Framework, and How to Get Help
When It’s Too Early — and When It’s Too Late
Matt Feret:
Before we wrap up, let’s answer a practical question people are probably asking themselves right now. When is it too early to start planning for college — and when is it too late?
Brian Eyster:
There really isn’t a bad time to start. But when you start determines what options you still have.
I usually think about college planning in three broad phases.

Phase One: Middle School and Younger
For families with kids in middle school or younger, this phase is about foundation building, not tactics.
At this stage, we’re not worrying about FAFSA forms or specific schools. We’re focused on:
• Improving cash flow
• Building flexible assets
• Understanding tax efficiency
• Creating optionality
This is the easiest phase to plan in, because there are no immediate deadlines and no real consequences yet.

Phase Two: Early to Mid–High School
As kids move into early high school, things start to get more concrete.
Now we can:
• Model “what if” scenarios
• Estimate future costs
• Project asset growth
• Understand how FAFSA and CSS rules will apply later
Nothing is locked in yet, which allows families to test strategies without pressure.
Junior year is the transition year. That’s when timing really starts to matter.

Phase Three: Senior Year and Beyond
By senior year, some doors have closed — especially around income planning — but not all is lost.
At this stage, planning becomes more about:
• Asset positioning
• Financial aid negotiation
• Appeal letters
• Strategic borrowing decisions
Families who understand the rules can still improve outcomes, but the margin for error is smaller.

College Financial Aid Is Negotiable — Most Families Don’t Know This
Matt Feret:
You mentioned negotiation earlier. That’s another area people don’t realize is even possible.
Brian Eyster:
Most families assume the financial aid offer is final. It isn’t.
Colleges are businesses. Their initial offer is often a starting point.
Families can appeal financial aid decisions for reasons like:
• Changes in income
• Job loss
• One-time bonuses
• Medical expenses
• Business disruptions
• Family circumstances
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

Why Colleges Often Lowball First
Colleges want to know the minimum amount of aid they can offer and still have you enroll.
That doesn’t make them evil — it makes them businesses.
When families understand that dynamic, they’re more willing to advocate for themselves.

Why This Isn’t About Gaming the System
This isn’t about cheating or manipulation.
It’s about understanding how the system works and making informed, ethical decisions.
Families who plan proactively aren’t doing anything wrong. They’re simply playing by the same rules institutions already understand.

How College Planning Impacts Retirement
Matt Feret:
Let’s bring this full circle. Everything we’ve talked about ultimately ties back to retirement.
Brian Eyster:
Exactly.
The biggest mistake families make is treating college planning as a standalone problem.
Every dollar spent on college is a dollar that:
• Can’t grow for retirement
• Can’t provide future income
• Can’t provide flexibility later in life
My goal is to help families pay for college and protect retirement — not sacrifice one for the other.

The Core Philosophy of the GRAD Process
If I had to sum it up, the GRAD Process exists to:
• Create clarity
• Preserve control
• Protect flexibility
• Reduce unnecessary sacrifice
Instead of defaulting to products, we focus on objectives.
Instead of reacting, we plan.
Instead of hoping, we model outcomes.

Why Professional Guidance Matters
College funding touches:
• Taxes
• Cash flow
• Investments
• Retirement
• Housing
• Aid formulas
• Emotional family dynamics
That’s too much for most families to navigate alone — especially under time pressure.
Working with someone who understands how all these pieces connect can change the outcome dramatically.

How to Connect With Brian Eyster
Matt Feret:
If someone listening wants to learn more or see if working with you makes sense, how do they find you?
Brian Eyster:
The best place to start is my website: EssentialStrategies.net.
There, you can:
• Learn more about the GRAD Process
• Download educational resources
• Schedule a short introductory call
That first call is about fit. If we don’t feel like a good match, that’s okay. I’ll point you toward other resources that may help.

Final Thoughts
College planning doesn’t have to mean panic, sacrifice, or regret.
With the right information and the right strategy, families can support their kids’ education while still protecting their own financial future.