Empowering Women and their Stories with Phyllis Jenkins

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Matt Feret:

Hello everyone. This is Matt Feret, author of Prepare for Medicare and Prepare for Social Security Insiders, guidebooks, and online course training series. Welcome to another episode of the Matt Feret Show, where I interview insiders and experts to help light a path to successful living in midlife retirement and beyond. Phyllis, welcome to the show.

Phyllis Jenkins:

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Phyllis Jenkins’ Story [1:42]

Matt Feret:

Oh, I love excitement. I'm glad you're excited. Tell everybody what you do, how long you've been doing it, and how you help people.

Phyllis Jenkins:

What I do is I help women tell their stories and write their books. My journey began in 2008, Matt, when I heard the words from a pulmonary specialist, Mrs. Jenkins, you are lucky to be alive. My patient in the other room who has the same thing is not going to make it. So after a five day stay in the hospital battling a pulmonary embolism, which is black clots in both of my lungs, I left the hospital saying, okay, God, you took her, but you left me here. What more is there that you want me to do? So I set out to find my purpose, and in two years, it took me two years to discover it. At the age of 53, I discovered my God assignment, which is the powerful journey where, again, I'm helping women tell their stories, write their books, and I help them by turning their life challenges into life-changing messages, messages of hope, inspiration and encouragement that goes out and help others to not only survive, but it helps them to thrive as well.

Matt Feret:

And thrive is such an important word. I mean, I guess throughout life, but especially when we're getting older and running into a lot of issues, we never thought we'd run into like, my gosh, pulmonary embolisms 53, that's a life-changing event. And you came out of that energized to find your purpose where a lot of folks may not have done that. They may have, I don't know, gotten scared, maybe gone into a hole. Tell me about that two-year time period. How did that, your brain came out of the hospital, your body came out of the hospital, but your brain went on this two-year journey of finding, meeting and purpose. What went on during those two years? I'm really curious.

Phyllis Jenkins:

Thank you for asking. And what happened was that was a wakeup call for me that stopped me in my tracks when he said I was lucky to be alive, and I just believed that I was blessed to be alive. And so the two years I went looking for my purpose outside of myself, I did a lot of great things, but they were not the things that God had created me, my purpose, my God assignment to do. And so it wasn't until I looked internally inside of me and discovered that I've always been an encourager. It's natural for me to encourage others. Matter of fact, my acronym for LOL is Leave Others Lifted. I believe that if I am talking to you that by the time we finish, you should feel better than you did when you approached me. And so I began to look within and discover that even as a child, I was a natural encourager, always loved to write. Back then we called them diaries. And so I kept a diary, loved to read. And so that was, I discovered that was my purpose. That's my God assignment. And thus, that's how the powerful journey came about.

Matt Feret:

So I got where you were in terms of age and in medical condition, but where were you in life when you started this journey after that hospital visit? Were you fully employed, not employed? Were you halfway? Were you on a mountain trek in Nepal? What was going on at this time that you had to go, stop, pause, and really figure out the next phase?

Phyllis Jenkins:

Yeah. Married, I married my college sweetheart, Dave, and we are celebrating 45 years of marriage. He calls me his sugar in his Kool-Aid. And so he's a very fun guy.

Matt Feret:

I haven't heard that expression before. I might steal it.

Phyllis Jenkins:

And so at that time, I was working as a speaker with the Baptist Journal Convention of Texas where we traveled and helped smaller churches to launch their women's ministries and their women's Bible studies. And so I was very busy doing some great things. We have two daughters, and they were still in school, one high school, one elementary, and life was good. Life was very good. And then all of a sudden that happened, it again, it slowed me down because I was very, very busy, very busy doing a lot of good things, and I thought that they were God things as well. But it slowed me down and allowed me to really internally look at, okay, am I doing what I was created to do? Am I fulfilling the purpose in which God has me here on this earth?

The Importance of Storytelling [7:45]

Matt Feret:

Those are existential questions that not everybody ever even gets to in life. So when you went through this journey and you came out on the other side of two years and you focused in on women specifically, tell me how you came about doing that. What need did you see there or what problem or issue did you think you were able to solve?

Phyllis Jenkins:

Because I've always been an encourager. I've always had women coming to me and sharing their stories, and I would see the freedom that they received after sharing what they had been through their challenges. And it was just natural for me to be able to help them to turn those challenges around, to look at what lessons have you learned by going through this, and then what lessons can you teach someone else? And so when I started with the Powerful Journey Organization, it was taking women through the Speaker’s Academy, teaching them their stories, how much meaning their stories have. And I always encourage everyone, don't take your story to the grave. And I just believe once again that what has happened to us is happening to someone else as well. And so when we teach them what lessons we've learned, because we're on the other side of it, and if we're on the other side of it, we've learned something that can go out and help another woman, it can become her lifeline to help her through what she's going through.

I'll give you an example. Fran stood on stage at our annual Powerful Journey Women's Conference, and she shared her going through becoming a widow early in her marriage with three small children, and she stood on stage and she shared the struggles, the challenges that she had gone through, but then she also shared how she was on the other side of that and how God had taken her through those stages and how she was doing much better. Matt, during the lunchtime at the conference, a woman found Fran and with tears in her eyes, she said, if you didn't come for anyone else today, you came from me. She said, I lost my husband two years ago, and my family, my friends, even my church family are all saying, it's time for you to move on. And she said, I am struggling. I've even contemplated suicide. And so outside of the conference, she and Fran got together. Fran became a support system for her, and that woman is now thriving. And so those, when I hear and when I see instant impacts from what one sharing their story does, it just fuels me and makes me want to just continue and go further and further. I'm on a mission to help 100,000 women to tell their stories, and we also write their books.

Matt Feret:

I guess I've heard it said, and I've probably said it a million times to myself, you never really do know what's going on in someone's personal life. You never really know because on the outside, or even if you work with them or you're friends with them, and you might get a taste, boy, sometimes those flood water is open and sometimes they don't. You must have found a lot of examples over the time that really provided continued inspiration for you. Just like that story that, Ooh, there's something there. When did you know there's something there that you needed to work on? Was it right after you started it after two years, or was it just over time, over and over, you're getting these stories of people going, I'm so glad you're asking me to tell people's stories because it's resonating.

Phyllis Jenkins:

Over time. Conference, after conference, after conference, I've seen that woman stand on stage, and she had so much fear before she got up there, but by the time she finished, you could see how comfortable she was and that there was freedom, but it didn't stop there. I looked at the women sitting in the audience and I could see that they were relating to what she said and how they were clapping and nodding their heads, and then after it was all over, I always received testimonials from those women saying, thank you, thank you, thank you for doing that. I thought I was the only one going through this particular situation. I think of Lori who stood on stage and shared her story of being in a relationship that was an abusive relationship. She wasn't even married yet. She was dating and it was an abusive relationship. She shared her story on stage, and there was a woman who had come from another state that was sitting in the audience and she was leaning in almost on the edge of her seat listening to Lori share her story. And I personally know this woman and she went back home. She was in an abusive relationship, a marriage. She went back home, and she got out of the marriage. Her family were so relieved because they felt that because of the beatings and the things that she had gone through that he was going to kill her. And so, when I hear stories like that again, it just fuels me to continue to go forward.

Matt Feret:

I hope it's obvious I'm not a woman, but I'll tell you, I'm not a woman. And I have to imagine though, you being very specific about women and their journey and not men, not because you're not a man, but because there's a certain niche or a certain set of needs and ways of communicating that are more specific to women versus the general broad population. What are some of those things that you run into or that you note that makes this female woman's specific type of gathering this program and the way you approach it different than say men or just generic one size fits all kind of books and programs?

Phyllis Jenkins:

First of all, we create a safe space for these women in our Office Academy, our Speaker’s Academy, our Writer’s Journey. It's a safe space for them to share. Many of these women, Matt, have kept their stories for 40 years. They've kept it inside of them, but I have to tell you, last year we had our first man that went through the Author’s Academy. He had come to a conference with his wife and at every conference we have men there. My husband is there to support me as well. Men come because husbands, brothers, sons come to support the women that are speaking. Well, he approached me last year and he said, Phyllis, I was at a conference with my wife and I heard you stand on stage and say, don't take your story to the grave. And he said, I have a story to tell. And he said, you are the person that's going to help me tell the story.
His story, Matt, oh my goodness, it is it amazing what this man went through. And he stood on stage. He had 30 people that had come to support him, and he sold his books. He told his story, and he is in my next steps class right now, and he's getting speaking engagement. People were saying in the audience, did he really go through all of that? When you read his book, you know that God had his hand upon him, but he is my third male that have authored a book, but he's the first male that stood on stage, and so I believe that he has probably opened the doors for other men to come and to share their stories as well.

Matt Feret:

Nice. See, we have stories too.

Phyllis Jenkins:

Absolutely.

Stories from Powerful Journey [17:23]

Matt Feret:

So talk to me about your program. You've alluded to it a little bit, so talk to me about the evolution from where you started, into what you're offering today and the different stages and ways you can help women tell their stories.

Phyllis Jenkins:

When we started out in 2010, it was strictly through the Speaker’s Academy. The women were learning how to bring clarity to their stories. They were learning which story to tell because we all have many, many stories and I help them to focus on that story that's going to give the greatest impact, bring the greatest impact to others, help to change lives. And so we started with that and I think about three years in we were, and we met in person back then and we were there and all of a sudden I told the class probably had about 10 women there, and I said, guess what? Y'all are going to put your stories in a book. And they went. They were so nervous but excited, and so from there we added the Author’s Academy and that is where of course, the women or put in their stories into books and they're leaving a legacy behind.
They're leaving their stories that generation after generation after generation when they're gone will be able to read their stories. From there, I started the telling our stories anthology where there were some women that just wanted to tell their story and it wasn't enough to go in a book, and so we launched the Telling Our Stories anthology volume one, which was amazing in that we sold 101 books in 16 days on Amazon, so it was a great success, so much so that we launched volume two, which I have a picture of it here. This is volume two, and in the back of volume two, I have a section titled 513 Years of Wisdom. The reason is there are women that I interviewed that are at the ages at that time, which was a year ago, and I'm going to look at my sheet here to make sure I don't miss their ages.
82, 76, 79, 87, 90, and we had a lady that was 99 years old who turned a hundred last year. They told their stories and those that could travel came to the conference and stood on stage and shared their stories. Ms. Ada came all the way from Michigan, I'm in Texas. She came from Michigan to tell her story, and she is now in the Office Academy writing her book. We also launched this year the Writer’s Journey Community, which is a community where we meet every Monday via Zoom. All of my classes now are virtual because we have women from New York, from New Jersey, Chicago, Florida, Louisiana, and different parts of Texas. And so this particular group meet every Monday night and on one Monday night we have our teachings, and then on the next Monday night it's called our Writer's Sanctuary. So they actually write, we go off camera, we write, and then they come back. We discuss what they've written or we have the hot seat question, but it is just amazing. It has grown into a close community of sisterhood. I mean, it has just been amazing.

The Generational Power of Storytelling [21:49]

Matt Feret:

In addition to presenting and telling your story live, either in person or over zoom, you've taken the step and you're asking people to write them down and write them down for I guess all of time. I mean, the words will go away. Maybe the videos will get lost, but the books have been around a real long time. Why is it so important that people you capture or you encourage people to capture their stories for future generations?

Phyllis Jenkins:

I believe that the generations after us need to hear our stories from us. No one can tell your story like you can, and so if you're gone, they would have to hear it from others, but if you put it in a book, it's there. I have one woman who came, Sherilyn is her name. Her mother had been writing a book for over 10 years and she didn't finish it on her deathbed. She asked Sherilyn, would you please finish my book? And that is what she did, and the title of the book, and I have it here, is Quiet Anger and Hidden Shame, and it is-

Matt Feret:

What an assignment? A deathbed assignment on that topic. That's not a book about flowers in my backyard. That's a little heavy to get an assignment like that.

Phyllis Jenkins:

It was very heavy and there were many tears shed as she went through her mother's manuscript and she finished the book, but she kept her promise to her mother.

Matt Feret:

Wow. Yeah, I thought you were going to say something. I don't know where I was going with it, but I wasn't going that heavy. That's a big deal. But it was obviously important enough to her mother to ask her on her deathbed to do it and therefore important enough to her to finish it.

Phyllis Jenkins:

Yes.

Matt Feret:

Yep. Yes. So now how big is your community and where are you going next? I mean, this thing's been going strong for 13 years and it sounds like it's been growing, and it has different iterations of it, and where are you taking this thing next? How else are you going to get the word out besides the Matt Feret show? What's next?

Shamelessly self-plug my own show, I've never done that before, so I might edit that out, but I did it. Sorry.

Phyllis Jenkins:

No, it's fine. That's okay. I was on a podcast yesterday, someone else's podcast as well. I have my own podcast where this is another platform where these women can come and tell their stories, and so they're excited about telling their stories and getting it out. Where I see this going in the future is taking the conferences on the road. We had started doing that before the pandemic hit. We had started, we've been to Oregon, we've gone to Louisiana. I even got an invitation and the opportunity to share powerful journey with women in Paris, France, and so I've kept in touch with those women, and so I see us taking it on the road, but I'm also beginning to write courses because I know that everyone don't want to sit and go through a class. They like to do it, and so I am working on a course that will help them to do that. I believe that we will have facilitators not just in other states, but in other countries that can carry on the work that we're doing here and continue to help women and a few men tell their stories and write their books.

Matt Feret:

Awesome. It has to- almost seems like this is group mentorship a bit. Not only group connection and group sharing and storytelling so that you have some like me, like, oh my gosh, I'm not the only one in this situation. Thank goodness I found this group and I found this process, but I have to imagine there is a little bit of mentorship going on, different experiences, people different ages. Is there?

Phyllis Jenkins:

There is. I'm so glad you mentioned ages. Sarah stood on stage. Matter of fact, she had come to one of the coaching sessions, a one-on-one coaching session that I was having with her mom, and she sat in the room doing her homework. When we were finished, she looked at me and she said, Mrs. Jenkins, I have a story to tell. So I looked at her mom, and Sarah was 15 or 16, and I looked at her mom and I said, are you okay with this? And she said, yes, I want you to know that I worked with Sarah. She stood on stage in front of, I think we had almost 300 people there at that conference, and Sarah stood on stage, shared her message, and she said her message was for the children that couldn't speak for themselves. She said, I want you parents to know that we know what's going on in our house and that you should make sure that you're including us in what's going on.
Her situation was where mom had gotten a divorce, and when Sarah would go to visit her stepdad that he would treat her so differently from the other children, and Sarah stood on stage. She shared her story. We keep Kleenex at every table at our conferences. There was not a dry eye in the building, and when that young lady finished, she said, I wouldn't trade anything for what I've gone through because it has made me the person that I am today. Then Haley, another young woman that came to us. Haley was 15 when she came and she joined the Author’s Academy, wrote her book, and at the conference she did a breakout session with the teens that were there, and I have a picture of her book, and it was about her being the only African American in her class and how being different and how the girls wanted to touch her hair and how she was treated differently. At the end of Haley's workshop, I watched those girls go around her and they all gave her a hug and they were like, Haley, we had no idea you felt like that, and so again, Matt, I have story after story after story of how their stories have gone forth and it has caused instant impact, instant made a difference right away in the lives of others, and that's what I believe that I've been called to do.

Matt Feret:

Well, it sounds like that call is resonating across the country and even the world, ages 15 to 100, my word, this is really cool stuff you're doing and it's not out there a whole lot. In other words, this type of positivity doesn't get the coverage it really deserves in this type of community while we hear about is how divided we are and how many divorces we've going through post-COVID and how many broken things there are out there, there are a lot of really cool, interesting things going on in building and thriving, and I'm glad to hear about one of them. Phyllis, thank you so much for doing this. Are there any questions or topics I didn't ask of you about that I should have?

Phyllis Jenkins:

There's just one thing I want to leave with your audience today. At every conference we have what I call the Powerful Journey Mantra, and I have everyone stand and they partner with someone that they didn't come with, and they repeat the mantra and I'm going to read it to you.

“You know my name, but not my story. You see my smile, but not my pain. You know my name, but you don't know my story, so please don't judge me. Don't judge my life. Don't judge my past. Walk in my shoes, walk the path that I have traveled, live my sorrows, live my doubts, live my fear, live my pain, and live my laughter. Remember, everyone has a story that can be turned into a life changing message. Now, go tell your story.”

Matt Feret:

Phyllis, thanks for being on the show.

Phyllis Jenkins:

Thank you so much for having me.

Matt Feret:

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